Tim Burton Street Juggling? "Mars Attacks!" Review

Just like my favorite director Quentin Tarantino, Tim Burton has invented his own genre, and same as Quentin the best way to describe the genre is to simply say his name. If I was to describe the movie “Beetlejuice” to someone who hasn’t seen it all I need to say is “It’s a Tim Burton movie”. If I was a famous movie director I would take that as a major compliment but at the same time I would be upset because that would limit me to my own style. I like that Tim has his own style because I know I can count on him to stick to it and if I ever want to see a “Tim Burton” movie I can watch one.

The problem is that the style he has just cannot fit into some genres like he wants them to. “Mars Attacks!” is a terrible mess of a film that means well but fails even on paper. For starters it is a parody film, a genre that has only been done right once with “Airplane”. It then adds embarrassment to it by having such an enormous cast no one would be able to handle. Watching the film is like watching a street performer juggle too many bowling pins, he keeps dropping them and you feel sorry for him because you know he is feeling embarrassed. It is truly a pity that such talents as Jack Nicholson, Jack Black, and Michael J. Fox get wasted in a film that looks like a stupid B movie that should have never existed.

From the opening credits you see that there is an alien invasion with flying saucers. The Martians that attack look too silly even for a parody. In fact I even remember a picture of one of them being in one of my high school textbooks for some reason and when me and my friend first saw it we laughed so hard that our teacher got pissed and kindly asked us to shut the hell up. The plot then slowly evolves into a nonsensical cocktail of uninteresting stories involving the president of the United States, a talk show host falling in love with a scientist but getting her head stuck on the body of a dog, and a message towards the Martians which was either mistranslated or the Martians didn’t care and attacked anyway.

Tim Burton is not particularly known for being clever or witty with his films but he usually doesn’t dumb his movies down either. This time he makes a movie that feels as if prolonged exposure to it might cause a tumor. There might be a true sincerity in it in that Tim honestly wanted to make a good homage to science fiction B movies but it was a wrong choice from a director who I really admire and think that he is capable of doing much better.

4/10

Although I am tempted to say “Batman” I think his best film is “Sweeney Todd the Demon Barber of Fleet Street” but what do you think? Do you prefer something more like “Edward Scissorhands”? or perhaps the darker “Sleepy Hollow”? Tell me in the comments below. Remember you can comment whether you have an account or not. Please start leaving me some comments, because they have been scarce.

Lovers Brought Together by Fate. "Natural Born Killers" Review

     What a mess of a film. “Natural Born Killers” is the result of Oliver Stone trying to be Quentin Tarantino. After all Tarantino came up with the story and wrote the initial script, so if you ask me he should have been the one to direct it. But since Stone ended up getting it, let’s talk about him for a while. Stone is a hit-and-miss director; “Platoon” was not bad but seriously below average, “JFK” was just awesome, “The Doors” was an interesting window into the 60s but terribly pretentious, as a screenwriter he wrote the script for a terrific little movie called “Scarface”, and now with “Natural Born Killers” he falls into his pattern of some-good-some-bad. The question here isn’t how bad it is, the question is how bad were the drugs that Stone was taking when he made this film (Seriously it is even mentioned on the DVD).

                Woody Harrleson and Juliette Lewis play two lovers/killers, who are almost as crazy as Charles Manson was; I say almost because he still managed to get more ratings in a television special about him than the couple’s episode. We know this because Robert Downey Jr’s character is obsessed with the couple and uses the media to make them superstars, all while sporting a very funny and convincing Australian accent. I would even go as far as to say that he is actually the real star of the film because essentially the movie is about how the media tells us what to do, what to wear, what to buy, what to think, and who to worship whether it be a God, a politician, or a pair of mass murderers.

                The acting is actually pretty good, and so is the story. As I have said before I am a great fan of Quentin Tarantino, so I had no problem enjoying the idea of killers in love being made into celebrities, but if you look up the word “overkill” this movie is going to be there. Stone practically pisses in our face and then wants us to like it

                The meaning of this film is not destroyed thankfully thanks to Tarantino’s genius storytelling abilities. It is actually making a point. What is it? While normally the explanation I gave above about the media would be sufficient, I have a need to explain a bit further as to what I think it is about (Meghan this next part is for you).

The object of the media is to make money. And no matter how it needs to be obtained, they will do anything to get it; including selling us lies, starting rumors, invading our privacy, and showing us stuff that we shouldn’t be seeing. The problem with all this is that anyone can use the media as long as they have the cash to do so. Politicians use it all the time to convince us to vote for them, corporations use it to convince us to buy their crap, and celebrities use it to become more famous. The point of all this is that we live in a society that is controlled by the media. If you think that corporations, politicians, or celebrities rule the earth then let’s see how well they would do without the media, and let’s see how well you take it when you realize that all the things that you thought made up reality where just products of the next iPad app.

All of this is good but why does it have to be handled by Oliver Stone? He is basically the only thing wrong with the film and yet it makes all the difference. This movie should have been about the media but instead it is a twisted and mutant version of “Bonnie and Clyde” spliced together with the roadrunner cartoons, being watched while on shrooms with a hangover. Anyway Im not gonna say don’t watch it because it is interesting to see the social commentary but if you watch it do so at your own risk because this film is for the birds.

4/10

But what about you? What is your favorite Oliver Stone movie? Click here to cast your vote.