THE FUCK!!! This is by far the worst movie I have ever seen.
Words can’t describe how terrible this movie is but I am going to try my best. The
movie is a mess. Every scene has such abysmal content it is an embarrassment to
cinema.
Little Joshua is a kid that can see the ghost of his dead
grandfather. Grandpa warns him that if his family goes on their planned vacation
to the town of Nilbog they will get eaten by Goblins (In case you didn’t notice
Nilbog is Goblin spelled backwards). Joshua warns them but they go anyway. You
have probably guessed that Grandpa was right about the goblins being there but
what you haven’t guessed is that the goblins are vegetarian; yes you read it
correctly, VEGETARIAN GOBLINS. By the way in case you are wondering this movie
has nothing to do with trolls and it doesn’t have any connection to the movie “Troll”.
The goblins turn humans into plants so they can eat them, but don’t worry,
Joshua has a way to stop his family from eating the food that turns them to
plants; with the help from grandpa who can freeze time just once for the entire
film, he has time to pee on the food.
I am not going to give away the whole plot though. Not that
it would spoil anything if I do; it’s just that you wouldn’t believe me if I
told you what happens throughout the film. Saying that this film is terrible
would be a gigantic understatement. I’m not even sure anyone can write a review
that clearly represents this film because I had heard really bad things about
this film and yet it somehow managed to be 100 times worse than what I was
expecting. It is one of those movies you just have to see for yourself. One
scene involves little Joshua having to eat a bologna sandwich to protect
himself from getting eaten by the vegetarian goblins.
See what I mean? I just can’t stop ranting about this film
because it is just that terrible. However this movie has one redeeming quality;
it is funnier than most comedies these days. So if you are in a group with a
bunch of your buddies and want to have a good laugh then you could do a lot
worse.
1/10
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