My last review on the blog was primarily aimed towards delusional
teenage girls who thought that “Twilight” was a good movie. Now it’s time for
the boys. “Transformers” is the ultimate dumbed down version of and action
flick, showing so much stupidity and lacking any sense of excitement. Sure the
special effects are terrific and mesmerizing but they are devoid of any
reasonable justification, imagination, or logic.
Here is the deal; good giant robots fight against bad giant
robots, somewhere in the fight is an annoying kid played by Shia Labeauf, and a
porn sta… I mean prostitu… I mean crack wh…
I mean an attractive female sidekick played by Megan Fox. Some
explosions happen, robots hit each other, and then Octopus Prime Rib recites
some Shakespeare.
Of course the plot usually doesn’t matter in pictures like
this does it? We just want to see big chunks of metal crash into each other and
explode right? Well sure, and I have no problem with that, but when you have been
leading up to the grand finale for 2 hours and it finally comes and looks like it
was cut together by a seizing elephant and directed by Smeagol from The Lord of
the Rings, it is a major cop out. The whole movie looks like a gigantic episode
of “Mythbusters” without any of the realism, the science, or the humor, just
explosions.
Why am I being so harsh on this movie? Well the reason being
is that I tried really hard to enjoy this film, I really did. I watched with
devotion and high expectations, I even watched on a high definition screen with
home cinema, and I still couldn’t get past it. At one point during the film I
think I even started playing cards with my cousin because I was just so bored
and tuned out. There might as well have been static on the tely after a while
because I just didn’t care what happened, my eyes where looking at the screen
while my mind was on “How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck
could chuck wood?”
If you are able to enjoy it then good for you because it
will certainly cure an action sci-fi craving, but don’t expect it to please anything
but your eyes and maybe your genitals if you are in to Megan Fox. I didn’t enjoy
it though and unfortunately they say it is the best in the series so there is not
much hope for me and the sequels.
5/10
Tell me in the comments if you liked the film and its
sequels. And then here is a question for you: What film that you enjoy a lot
would you admit is fairly mindless and unintelligent? I really like “Independence
Day”. Post a comment; I fixed it so that anyone can comment with or
without an account.
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