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Thursday, May 16, 2013

Star Wars without the stars or the wars. "The Clone Wars" Review.

Where to begin? Back in 1977 “Star Wars” came out, and it happens to be 3rd on my all time favorite movies list. How did we get from a perfect movie that succeeds in every way, to a movie that fails in every way?

Normally I would tell you the plot here but I’m not going to bother, because there really isn’t one; only something about Jabba the Hutt’s son who looks like giant snot. This is the film that shouldn’t have been. What I mean is that there are plenty of films that people wish didn’t exist but this one was actually not even intended to be a movie, it was a TV show pilot. It’s bad enough that the TV show it was starting was terrible, but take a terrible pilot, stretch it out to feature length, and stick it on the big screen, is just plain insulting to us who have watched and loved the “Star Wars” saga.

Do I like the prequels? Yes and No. I don’t like “The Phantom Menace” and “Attack of the Clones” but I sort of like “Revenge of the Sith”. Now are “Phantom” and “Attack” horrible? No they are just under my threshold for a good movie. What saved them was, some thrilling action packed scenes (however useless they might have been), some great creature and robot design from Lucas Arts, and ofcourse John Williams brilliant score, none of which were in “The Clone Wars”.

The animation is so clumpy it looks like claymation except without the haunting realism that it possesses. The voice acting is pointlessly driven to imitate the actors from the live action movies which makes it even worse when all of them fail.

The prequels were disappointing in their own right, but “The Clone Wars” makes “The Phantom Menace” look like “The Empire Strikes Back”. Why does this movie exist though? I mean beyond the obvious answer “Money” why would anyone make a film like this? Is there no other answer than financial gain? If that is the case though Im surprised George Lucas had enough soul left to sell to make this movie after making the prequels. Thank God though that Disney bought it back for 4 billion dollars, because that is apparently what a soul goes for these days.

Anyway I digress. This movie is beyond redemption. There is not much to say about it either; the plot is bad the voice acting is bad, the music is bad, the animation is bad… you get the idea.


Alright the reason I reviewed “The Clone Wars” is because soon I am going to be part of a contest. A “Star Wars” related contest. Don’t miss it. Its coming very soon! I will keep you posted.

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